Just need to vent

[lazyassforge]

Nolatoolguy,

I admire your dedication to your Grandmother and to your Mom and Dad! As far as dealing with your uncle, You are a much better man than I am afraid I would be in a simular situation! God bless you! Prarers sent up for you and your family!

Bill D.

[Nolatoolguy]

Hey guys.
 
I figured I would do a quik little update cause I have nothing better to do.
 
I am not working as much anymore, actually I barely work. My days pretty much consists of cooking and cleaning up after grandma(both big accomplishments cause neither I did before LOL) . I then have to constantly watch her in terms of making sure she doesn't wonder off. About a half hour ago she was going to see the neighbors to say hi. At 4 this morning she woke up and was going to bake a cake for her sons 9th birthday. The neighbors don't live there anymore and her kids are all grown.
 
Its bitter sweet cause I will be moving out within the month. I have a friend who as a extra room at their apartment and will help with rent. I have already talked to my cousin about getting my job back full time. The numbers are tight, but they work. In other worlds I wont be able to buy extra wrenches. Hopefully ile pick up a few side jobs as well, like I use to do.
 
My uncles/aunts refuse to see there mom in a nursing home and they don't want to watch her. My dad has talked to them an made it clear and they don't get it. They are all quik to say Ile be there, then something always comes up. Its sort of funny how they told me there car wont start so they cant make it, then I see there tagged  on facebook at some restraunt with there kids. Or there sick, then there dog is sick(that's literally a excuse I got). Theres always something for all of them why they cant be here. One of them comes over for three hours a week and that's it. Oh an a few of the other grandkids came over once, but never again. The one told me “well I cant stand her so ime leaving”
 
It came down to me basically saying hey uncles/aunts ime moving out in a month so figure out what your going to do. They think ile back down, but I wont. Truth be told as much as I love my grandma I cant be a unpaid babysitter 12-18 hours a day, seven days a week. I only got so much money saved up, an school an car insurance, etc aint cheap. But its more then just the money part, its making me extremely bitter against my own family.
 
My parents have been great through everything, and I don't know how I would of done half of this without them. They truly have stood by me in there own ways. They both work two jobs, an do as much as they can when there home.
 
I go to school Tuesday and wednseday morning. I really enjoy it. I am finding it harder then I thought but I trually enjoy it. Luckily I only had to miss school once and my mom only had to leave work early twice for me to make school. Other then that the schedule works out were one is home.
 
That's about all for now.

[john k]

This is tough, but what must be done is get your grandma into a nursing home.   I would say someone, your parents,  need power of attorney, liquidate her home to pay for her care.   It is almost past time for your other relatives to put up or shut up, but I think this can be done without their okay.   They will scream, but you haven't lost much there from the sounds of it.   Like I said, it will be tough, but she needs more care than any one family member can give.   Congratulations to you for sticking it out so long, not a lot of people would, and it says volumes about your personal strength.   

[Nolatoolguy]

This is tough, but what must be done is get your grandma into a nursing home.   I would say someone, your parents,  need power of attorney, liquidate her home to pay for her care.   It is almost past time for your other relatives to put up or shut up, but I think this can be done without their okay.   They will scream, but you haven't lost much there from the sounds of it.   Like I said, it will be tough, but she needs more care than any one family member can give.   Congratulations to you for sticking it out so long, not a lot of people would, and it says volumes about your personal strength.   

Thanks john.

I totally agree. Sadly my aunt already has power of attorney, solely cause her husband is a lawyer.

I don't necessarily want to see her in a nursing home, but I know its probably best. I mean how much more long can we put off the inevitable.

Honestly its something I never thought I would do. I agreed for a day cause no one else could and then who knows what happened. It has taught me a lot about myself and what ime capable of. I think its one of those things that helps make me who I am.

[skipskip]

Bless you brother, you are learning a whole bunch of life's lessons all at once and at a young age.

You are doing WAY better than most people at it.

A lot of us are proud of you here, and tho it doesn't seem like it, what you are doing and learning is making you a better person.

Keep at it, things will get better.

Skip

[Papaw]

We have known you as a stand-up guy since we first met you years ago!
You are learning some deep life lessons now that will serve you well in your future. So many young folks don't even try to get involved with their elders when times are tough physically or financially.

Don't let them keep you from going to school.

[Nolatoolguy]

Thanks guys. I think I got more an better friends on tooltalk then I do in real life, LOL.

I just read back a little in this thread. Its sorta interesting to see how far its come.

I sure will get school done, an get my certificate in welding. Of all things its going to get done an get done with a good grade.

[Branson]

You're sure living through some rough times.  And you're holding up honorably.  What's obvious is that grandma has to have 24 hour supervision every day, not just for her general health, but for her safety.  Whatever the rest of the relatives say, there are two options, a nursing home or a full time home health aide.   It's ridiculous to expect you to give up this time of your life, when you are preparing, getting an education and getting experience for your future, just so they can know she's living at home.  They want that?  They can pay for it or they can take up the responsibility.

Your grandma would want to see you prepare to make a good living -- you know that, and so do the rest of us here.

[Nolatoolguy]

Well guys I have some good news and some bad news.

Pretty much the grant program that partially funded my schooling is being shut down next semester. Pretty much their funding got cut. Disappointing but hey it helped get some credits. I am going to take a semester or a year or whatever off to save money. Welding is what I want to do so I will go back to learning it. I just gotta take some time off but it wont stop me long term.

I moved into a apartment with my best friend. Its different but good. I think my friend still wants to kill me from getting the kitchen counter dirty. I brought in a toolbox to go through and set it on the counter. I didn’t realize all the dirt an grime until after lol. Counter came clean but some weird napkin holder thing didn’t. But all seriousness its working out good.

I bought a 2000 Chevy C3500 pickup, almost two months ago. It’s a regular cab long bed diesel 4x4. It has 260,000 miles but not the original engine or transmission. It was owned by a surveying company and well taken care of. Looking at it you would not think it has that many miles.

[Branson]

> but it wont stop me long term

You can't lose with this attitude.  Good on you!

[oldtools]

You got a good start on life...  Keep it up!!

[Chillylulu]

Try to get on welding somewhere.  Our company pays for work related education.

I know we have a sister company in your area. I can check on whether they need someone, and see how close they are.  Getting into a good trade can help too. Our sprinklerfitters local reimburses for passing grades in welding. Except in the city, the local is the same as the one here in Denver! Some get discouraged by the 5 year apprenticeship,  but it goes by quick. Illinois journeyman pipefitter is over $30 / hr + the benefits are really good.  A lot more $ in Chicago local, but I wouldn't want to work there.  Too many bad stories.

Chilly
 

[Nolatoolguy]

Thanks guys.

At first it was very frustrating but I realized its not going to put me down. It may set me back a for a semester but wont stop me.

I do little tack welding at work but its mainly fitting pieces. Working again full time is good. Got a few side jobs going as well so that's good.

I will send you a message shortly chilly.

[bear_man]

I too am dealing with two family members who I characterize as "vultures."  This is about/for things that I own as well as family heirlooms.  Me, I've come to see that being "brutally honest" about such attitudes and so on is the best way to go.  In the US, it's considered "calling a spade a spade" and nevermind the euphemisms. 
     As to the "vulture" aspect, I attribute that to feelings/beliefs that derive from insecurity.  To me, letting those things slide helps no one, while being "brutally honest" at least gets such things out on the table where everyone can chew on them in-depth and honestly.  "Real women don't sweat; they perspire at worst."  REALLY?  Is there a REAL, meaningful difference there?  I say no, unless it's a fantasy one wants to get others to believe in.  One strains one's self and sweats.  Period.  The persperation thingy is fantasy, to me.  Feel free to color me "weird."   *he grins*  Oh, and hang in there.  At least you're actually THINKING about all this, in addition to "venting."