Author Topic: Wrench Pun  (Read 6174 times)

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Offline Papaw

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Wrench Pun
« on: July 24, 2012, 05:08:36 AM »
Not a political or religious statement- just funny!

Member of PHARTS - Perfect Handle Admiration, Restoration and Torturing Society
 
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Offline OilyRascal

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Re: Wrench Pun
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2012, 05:28:00 AM »
Not a political or religious statement- just funny!

:-)

What is that wrench marked "2012" at the bottom?
"FORGED IN THE USA" myself.  Be good to your tools!

Garden and Yard Rustfinder Extraordinaire!
http://www.papawswrench.com/vboard/index.php?topic=3717

Offline Plyerman

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Re: Wrench Pun
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2012, 05:50:48 AM »
A very progressive church - they've got open ends and box ends singing in the same choir.  :D
My friends call me Bob. My wife calls me a lot worse.

Offline johnsironsanctuary

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Re: Wrench Pun
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2012, 07:39:43 AM »
Hmmmm..... That's not how I had imagined tool worship, but I try to be open end minded.
Top monkey of the monkey wrench clan

Offline Bus

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Re: Wrench Pun
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2012, 10:23:16 AM »
I've seen several versions of the following on the web. BTW it's John Newton's birthday today.

A Wrenching Experience

There was once a handyman who had a dog named Mace. Mace was a great
dog, except he had one weird habit: He liked to eat grass — not just a
little bit, but in quantities that would make a lawnmower blush. And
nothing, it seemed, could cure him of it.

One day, the handyman lost his wrench in the tall grass while he was
working outside. He looked and looked, but it was nowhere to be found.
As it was getting dark, he gave up for the night and decided to look
the next morning.

When he awoke, he went outside, and saw that his dog had eaten the
grass, around where he had been working, and his wrench now lay in
plain sight, glinting in the sun. Going out to get his wrench, the
handyman called the dog over to him and said, "A grazing Mace, how
sweet the hound that saved a wrench for me."

"A Wrenching Experience" from "The Ants Are My Friends" by Richard
Lederer & Stan Kegel (©2007 Marion Street Press); "Amazing grace, how
sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me" from "Amazing Grace" by
John Newton

Here's another:

 An old man lived with his hound-dog, Mace, in a  run-down shack on the outskirts of town. He had no family and only a few meager possessions: a table and chair, a bed, a bag of  hand tools, and his dog. He used the tools to do odd  jobs in town, for which he usually would be paid enough  to get food for the next day. Mace and his master lived from one day to the next on what little these jobs would bring in. The dog was just a normal hound, with one exception: while most dogs like to chew on grass occasionally, Mace loved it. When the old man was in town, Mace would spend the day in the yard in front of the house, chewing away on the lawn. One bright, sunny day the old man said goodbye to his dog and headed into town to work. He had a plumbing repair job in one of the homes there that would take him most of the day and would probably pay enough for food for the remainder of the week, if he managed the money carefully. He headed for town with a spring in his step and a whistle on his lips. Inside the house and ready to start, the old man reached in the bag for his wrench. To his surprise, he didn't feel it. He dug around again, but there didn't seem to be any wrench. He looked in the bag, then dumped its contents on the floor, but still no wrench. Reality set in. Without a wrench he couldn't finish the job, and without the pay he couldn't even buy food for that night's supper, let alone for tomorrow. When he finally came to grips with reality, he told the lady who hired him what the situation was. While she sympathized with his situation, the job needed to be done. If the old man couldn't do it, she would have to hire someone else. The old man packed up his tools and headed home, head bowed and shoulders stooped. The whistle was gone and no longer was there a spring in his step. A walk that normally took 15 minutes seemed to last forever. But finally the old shack came into view, and there was Mace in the distance, munching away as usual on the lawn. When the dog saw his master, he came running, tail wagging, telling the old man how glad he was to see him. Kneeling beside the hound, the man began to pet him, and through tear-filled eyes told the dog that there would be no supper tonight and no food for tomorrow. What's more, without money to buy a new wrench, he had no idea what the future held. It was the loneliest, most helpless feeling he ever had! Then he caught a glimpse of something shining in the grass. As the old man went over to see what this piece of shining material was, his despair turned in an instant to joy! It was the wrench! The old man had dropped it on his way out that morning, and it would have been lost forever had Mace not been eating farther away from the house than he usually did! The old man grabbed the dog, gave him a hug that almost suffocated him, and ran into the house. Reaching for a stub of pencil and the only piece of paper he had, he wrote a moving tribute to his canine companion. Few people have ever heard these words...until now, that is. One man who did happen to read them changed them a bit and has his name recorded in music history. The old man never did get the credit he deserved. But now you are privileged to read the opening line of his original poem, which began:
"A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound that saved a wrench for me."