Well, just when I thought I couldn't lose it anymore..... I went and bought a HUGE lot of tools. So many that the auction folks emailed me and told me it was taking up the better part of a 20 by 30ft tent. .... and told me shipping would be near impossible and I should probably just come and get them.
This is all my brothers fault.
This is what he just HAD to ask me, "Hey Bird, what would you do if you ever won all the bids you put in?"
"That would never happen. This is the 12th auction I've bid on from them. I always win between 5-6.8 percent. (yes, I'm a numbers person!) But, to answer your question, I'd be screwed."
Like I said, all my brothers fault.
I've mentioned I'm a numbers person. The easiest math I've had in years was in this word problem:money I spent subtracted from savings =...
Equals I'm broke!!! .... easiest math ever!
Anyhow, so here I am in Virginia and I need to go to NY. First of all, I've never been too far north of here.... NEVER to NY! Secondly, I get lost EVERYWHERE I go.... so, there's that. But, I figure I've got to get them some how. So, I've decided to drive there in my 20 year old volvo (the only car I've ever had), pick up a u hall trailer , fill it up, and pull it home. Hmm, it's been a long time since I've had those trailer lights hooked up. How hard can it be, right?
THen, I got to thinking about the above paragraph..... Lets see, what's wrong with this picture: I'll probably get lost, get a trailer that still isn't big enough to fit all the tools in, lose my lights, and then break down somewhere around pennsylvania (I wonder if I go through PA??). This doesn't sound good at all!! The answer is clearly WRONG!
So, I went to plan B. I called up my friend, Kelly who I sometimes work with/ for.
"Hey, Kelly, I'll pay you 200 bucks to take me to new york and back...."
"Ok.... wait a minute, is that where all of your tools are?"
"Well, yeah, my next question was going to be if you could bring your trailer, too.."
So, he just left here. I asked him when we could go, "I'll be here tomorrow morning at six."
I've always been lucky / blessed when it comes to good friends.
The news of this ridiculous amount of tools I won has made it all over the county. I saw the UPS man the other day, "Sounds like you're going to be taking up my whole truck soon. Is it bigger then the last order?" A day later, I saw the OTHER UPS man and he said, "You're going to break my back, you know." He's a lot older, and I do get a little worried about him. I'm not making this stuff up!
At one time, the auction thought they could put the tools on pallets and send them via freight. So, of course it has to be shipped to a commercial address. So, poor Danny (owns the hardware store) would have had yet another package of mine to deal with (if he only knew how big it would have been!!) Last thing he got was my bandsaw and it sat on the forklift for days! THen, today, the post lady asked me, "Have you cleared out your house yet?"
"ummm, cleared out my house?"
"Yeah, for all those tools..."
THEN, I was just in the store and someone I didn't even know said, "I heard you blew all your money on tools." I wasn't in a very good mood at that point, I was still in the middle of thinking I was going with my original plan... driving myself. I whipped around and said, "SERIOUSLY???? Where did you... Nevermind. I don't want to know." I was thinking of asking him where he heard that from, and then I realized I didn't really want to know where he heard that from.... it would start some meaningless conversation that I wasn't in the mood to have.
And finally, I went over to my neighbors yesterday-- he wanted to order 8 sets of coasters and six cutting boards from me.
"Oh, that's awesome! Allen, if you had any idea how..."
"Broke you are? Yeah, Kelly told me yesterday."
Yep, Kelly was laughing right up to the point when he realized he'd be the one going to get them!
And, that's where I am now. ... waiting to go get them all tomorrow. I told my dad, "I can't wait, I'm so excited!!! It's like CHRISTMAS...... then I thought for a minute.... it's like Christmas accept I'm the one who had to buy all the presents.... " so, I guess it's like Christmas for you, Dad!" I'm glad I'm the kid and not the dad! Speaking of kids, I just went on vacation with the family. The two kids came running down to the dock and I heard, "Does aunt birdie count as a grownup?" They looked at me for the answer, and I was surprised I didn't know it. I waited, then I heard my brother "Yeah, I guess so," as he was probably thinking, "do I leave me kids alone on the dock with bird?.
The other funny thing Timmy did is told me, while I was looking on my phone at ebay, "You know, you could take some of those pictures down and just give me some of those tools." I managed to get both the kids interested in old tools while we were at the lake. I started pointing out all of the grooves, moldings, ... and told them there was a blade made for each one of those, and that's what the planes I have used to do/ still do. But, that's another story and I think this one has gone on long enough, if anyone is still reading it!
cheers
bird
