Well, if you INSIST, remember to run your Rolodex through the copier, or better yet, take it with you.
That's the single most valuable thing on the desk, computers crash, but a decent Rolodex will survive damn near anything.
Don't bother stocking up on pens, damn things dry up before you get around to using them, and the Dollar Store always has more. Legal pads and drawing pads will never go out of use, and beat hell out of drawings or notes on a napkin.
Blow some bucks on a decent desk chair for yourself too, Hag makes good ones, and a quality chair under your ass is one of the best investments there is.
Schedule is one of the most important parts of being retired. I've researched it, and you really want to schedule about an hour between getting up and the first nap of the day for coffee, light breakfast, and saying to hell with it as you toss the day's stack of notes of things that need to get done. Practice up on saying "I wish I could help you, but I don't remember how to do that.". You also want to practice your dazed old fart look. It is quite useful in supermarkets and such places and sweet young ladies will come to your aid. Just be careful using it if the wife is with you!
You also want to condition people to let the damn phone ring a while. Point out the phone rings every 6 seconds, and you ain't sitting next to the sumbeach any more. Also disconnect the answering machine. Ain't that many people worth calling back anyhow.
Feel free to give grumpy and disinterested replies to questions. Younger people expect it, and since they are going to call you an old fart anyhow, you might as well give them a reason to. You also want to keep in mind that places like MickyDs and Walmart are looking for employees. That is handy to know so you can tell anyone calling for a donation to go get a job and donate what they make.
Rest assured you'll be on the list for hearing aid salesmen soon. When they call ask them to repeat multiple times. Then make an appointment to go for the free test. Show up a day early and complain they shouldn't mumble. Better yet, set up an appointment for yourself and a couple buds, go in together and enjoy yourself by acting like a 5 year old. Old Farts are expected to act childish, accommodate the kids running the show. Complain they should provide coffee and Danish, preferably cheese Danish, after all you spent gas money to get there.
Do NOT fall into the GOLF trap. It's nothing but an expensive way to ruin a nice walk on the pasture. If it was fun oriented they wouldn't complain when you play it like polo slapping the ball as the cart drives by.
