how do you deal with it...

[Dustin21]

papaw if this thread aint for here sorry i just needed an outlet..

as most of you know i  do alot of stuff for my grandparents i do there shopping,mowing,snow blowing, any and all repairs around the house.. there both in there 70's and its really starting to show. my grandpa has started walking with a cane and almost has to see a chiropracter every 2 weeks for his back then theres his struggles with skin cancer and him constantly having to have the stuff cut off.. my grandma uses a walker and sleep constantly now and right now is dealing with a problem with her leg where the doc keeps having to cut something out (i forget what its called) and if it doesnt stop they might have to amputate the leg...   

i do everything i can for them but its starting to work on me.... i feel like there so much more i could for them   but i dont know what.. these last few months have been eye opening for me with how fast everything happens  i just dont know what ill do when they go or how ill deal with it.. maybe im  just thinking to far ahead but the thought of losing them scares me... :/

[Neals]

PM sent

[Lewill2]

My mother is 92 and my brother and I along with our wives get her to her doctors appointments as well as shopping and the other daily requirements. I think what you are doing is great but I find that my mother enjoys the company as much if not more then the tasks that we do for her. She has lived alone for about 13 years but she still manages to do her own house keeping. I try to stop in every day just to do a few odds and ends but more just to sit and talk with her for a little while each day. A hug and a kiss as I say good bye. I guess we do what we can for our older friends and relatives to help them through their journey of life.

[Papaw]

My mother lost her battle with heart trouble several years ago. Thankfully, she only really suffered for the last 9 months or so. For the last two years of her life, I came home from work and took her to her doctor's appointments and such, and spent a lot of time with her to keep her company, and to see that she ate properly. I think that time meant more to her than she ever could express. Others in the family did as much as they could, with most of them living farther away from home.
Dustin, the help you give them and the quality time you give them will serve them well and make you a better man in the bargain.
Keep up the good work.

[lazyassforge]

I have been very lucky. My mom is 92 now and still lives alone (1/2 mile from my home) she still drives herself to the Seinor citizen center every week day for lunch and into town for her Dr. appointments. I do take her to visit her sisters a couple hours away when we can. I don't visit her as much as I should (2-3 times a week) but between my brothers and sister she is checked up on quite often. She always worries about her driving deteriorating and her becoming a "burden" on us kids.

On the other hand my wife's mom is 72 and has a lot of health issues. She isn't able to drive and depends on her daughters to help her and run errands for her.

bd

[Dustin21]

thanks all. glad to know people have been thru the same thing

[RLT]

Dustin it's very hard to do. I had to watch it happen to dad up until his death a couple of years ago. There is nothing to make it easier. You just have to keep on helping and letting them know that you love them.

[RedVise]

Tough to do alone, talking to some one helps.

Got to remember, you cant take care of anyone unless you take care of your self first.

Talk to them about it also, you might be surprised what they say.


Brian L.

[Aunt Phil]

Most important thing you can do is be honest with them. 

When something is tough on you or for you to accomplish be honest and open about it with them and find a solution together.  There's no hard rule, but a lot of older people in their 70s seem to revert to acting like small children. 

There are resourses for care givers as well, you should look into what is available in your area and take advantage of programs that can help you.  Plenty of people have been down the road ahead of you and most will be willing to help you.