Well, I'm nothing if not consistently pulling a disappearing act! It's never by choice, and never because I've forgot about all my friends here. A bunch of , excuse the language, shit happened. But, I'm pretty sure that's "on par" for all of us :)! So, as some of you might have noticed, I haven't had anything listed on ebay in forever. That's a hard thing in my life right now... I really need to be listing stuff... but, somehow, once I had to do other things, I got out of the "groove" of listing, and now I'm desperately trying to get back into it.
I would never tell anyone but you folks... I'm pretty sure that no one around here would know my "papaws wrench" affiliation!!! So, most of you probably know I spent that 18,000 dollars on all of those tools. I'm about two thousand short of breaking even. So, while in my shop today, I decided to take an inventory and map out a business plan for the planes that I have. I couldn't find a pen or pencil down there. So, I did what any normal person would do... ground down the "handle" end of a file so that I could accurately etch out my plan on a piece of scrap wood. I'm either too lazy to go upstairs or brilliant for thinking of such a grand idea. I choose to believe in the latter of the two. I'm famous for writing important things on a piece of paper that quickly disappears. Usually, I find it in a little wet wad in a pocket of pants that has just been washed.
So, having a block of wood with a business plan felt like a solid idea. Of course, I lost that piece of wood. I'm not sure how that is possible. No worries, I found it in the refrigerator next to a half gallon of milk that has probably gone bad. I apologize that I don't have a more accurate inventory of wrenches, I think it's somewhere between 350-700 . But, to be honest, they weigh a ton, and have been living on the front , covered porch inside several of those recycling type bins with the top that closes. Of course there's a big tarp over them, too. My friend asked me if I was worried about anyone steeling them.... "HA, I'd like to see who could lift them!!!" ... not to mention no one would steal anything from my house, in the first place. Anyone would be "busted" trying to get rid of a bunch of wrenches.... I'm the only one in the county with that kind of addiction.
As an aside, I spend the majority of my time up (3000 feet up) with my friend Anne. I was standing on the porch smoking a cigarette (haven't managed to quit that yet), when a car pulled up our driveway. I was so surprised that I opened the door and said, "Anne, someone's at the house!" I was trying to figure out whether to hide somewhere, greet someone, or just hop in the car and bolt on out of there! It's the first time in over two years anyone has pulled into our driveway. This gal got out of the car and said, "I was hoping I would find you here."
"no one is supposed to find me here. What do you want?" I admit, I'm not the nicest of folks when it comes to being "found" when I don't want to be found.
She introduced me to her friend, Justin. He said, "are you the girl with all of the tools?"
Being apprehensive of anyone knowing who I am, I said, "how do you know that?"
"everyone knows that. You're the girl with all of the planes. But, it's always a mystery as to where you live. You're like a phantom .... the ghost of old tools who no longer exists. I feel like I've found the end to a treasure hunt!"
"Well, since you called me a treasure, what do you want?"
"I'm a wood worker. I love old molding planes and I've heard you have a couple hundred of them."
"Well, it might be closer to a thousand of them... maybe 700 or so. Why do you ask about them and me?"
"Well, you're a legend around here, no one knows where you go to and everyone knows you have more tools then anyone near this vicinity. I want to see them."
I know, it's quite egotistical to call myself some stupid legend... it's his words, not mine.
"you can come over, if you want. But, please don't bring anyone else with you. There's not many persons who know where I live anymore."
OH MY GOSH, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???! You'd think I was a criminal hiding from the law!... which, I'm not, by the way.
Of course, this new fellow, Justin, looked at me like I was crazy. I'm glad he saw me for who I am. So, I gave him my email address, not my phone number. I told him he could contact me via email if he wanted to come over. He asked for my phone number, but we all know he wasn't going to get that!
Where was I ? Oh, so I did a brief inventory, carefully etched in wood. I think I have around 240 Stanley planes (including transitionals), 2 or three hundred other metal and transitional planes, around 640 molding planes, and then all the rest of the tools: braces, blacksmith tools, saws, saw sets, calipers, braces, reamers, gimlets, augers, clamps, vices, and whatever else you can imagine. Most of the wrenches are farm / implement wrenches. Each one will take research. (I guess I could list them and hope they sell, but you all know I have to do the research!)
After perusing over this note, I sound like a really egotistical jerk. Hopefully, you know me know me well enough to know that's not true. After all, most persons aren't a phantom, legend, and a ghost all at the same time :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love you all and hope this note will be entertaining to you and give each of you a smile for the evening or morning.
cheers
bird
